PSPagely Station

Books › Funny gifts

Cover of Things I Can't Say to Customers

Things I Can't Say to Customers

The Polite Translation Guide for Retail Workers: 160 Things You Wish You Could Say, Holiday Rush Bingo and Cut-Out Coupons. A Funny Gift for Cashiers and Coworkers

For: Cashiers, stock crews, floor staff and managers. A funny Secret Santa, white elephant or stocking-stuffer gift.

  • 160 translations in 8 aisles, each with what the customer said, what I wanted to say and what I actually said
  • Field Guide to Customer Species: 12 types of customer with danger levels and survival tips
  • Retail-to-English Dictionary: 30 terms
  • Holiday Rush Bingo (2 lists of 24 squares in the Kindle) and 8 coupons to give a coworker
  • PG, brand-free, punching up never down
Kindle on Amazon

See the current price on Amazon. Affiliate links: disclosure.

About this book

The funny holiday gift for the person who says “Happy to help!” with a smile and means something else entirely.

Cashiers, stock crews, floor staff and managers all speak two languages: what they are thinking, and what they are allowed to say out loud. Things I Can’t Say to Customers translates between the two, one customer at a time.

What’s inside

  • 160 translations in 8 aisles: the returns desk, the fitting rooms, the register, the stockroom, a bonus aisle about managers, coupons and price checks, the holiday rush and Black Friday
  • Every entry has three lines: what the customer said, what I wanted to say and what I actually said (the cheerful, keep-your-job version)
  • Field Guide to Customer Species: 12 types of customer, with danger levels and survival tips
  • Retail-to-English Dictionary: 30 terms
  • Holiday Rush Bingo: 2 lists of 24 squares to play on a real shift
  • 8 coupons to give a coworker, from One Free Fake Smile to One Uninterrupted Lunch

PG, brand-free and punching up, never down. Easy to read a few entries at a time on a break.

Shopping for a gift? See more ideas for coworkers.

Goes well with

Other products on Amazon we think fit. Not made by Pagely Station.

Beauty giftsL'Occitane Hand Cream Classics 3-piece gift setThree travel-size hand creams in a gift boxSee it on Amazon › Beauty giftsLANEIGE Lip Glowy BalmA small add-on gift that fits in a stockingSee it on Amazon › Beauty giftsDiptyque Baies scented candleA classic candle to go with a book and a quiet eveningSee it on Amazon ›

You might also like

Cover of Table for OneTable for OnePaperback · Hardcover · KindleCover of The Slow Cooker for OneThe Slow Cooker for OnePaperback · Hardcover · KindleCover of Room to RememberRoom to RememberLarge printPaperback · HardcoverCover of Chair Yoga Without the QR CodesChair Yoga Without the QR CodesLarge printPaperback · Hardcover · KindleCover of American Mah Jongg Without the ConfusionAmerican Mah Jongg Without the ConfusionLarge printPaperback · Hardcover · KindleCover of The Head TableThe Head TableLarge printPaperback · Hardcover